Bus Stoppers

"

from: Karl Hite
to: Allison Hite

date: Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 9:35 AM
subject: Bus Stoppers

9:35 AM (10 minutes ago)

So I arrive on time at the bus stop. This girl is there to whom I've said "hi" a couple of times. She works at the MTC and rides the same bus 2 or 3 times a week. So she starts up some small talk and says "Any big plans for Halloween?" Innocent enough.

"Uhh not really, Office and 30 Rock on Halloween Eve."

"Halloween Eve!? HAHA you're so funny!" She had the wrong idea.

"Anyways, I'm having like this pumpkin carving party tomorrow, I live right down here on the corner. You can come if you want." -- Record scratch noise -- Oh man, does she have it wrong. In chit-chats past I know I've mentioned my wife. I'm wearing a ring, for golly's sake! But wait, It's cold, hands in the pocket. Must extricate hands, make ring visible. "It's just gonna be a bunch of random people."

"Uhh, cool... haha... " awkwardly. Testing lines in my mind: "My wife and I are gonna carve them on FHE" no, too direct. "My wife and I got a bunch of pumpkins at the pumpkin patch." Maybe. I ran a few more, but by the time I would have narrowed it down the moment had passed. I said nothing, awkwardly.

"So it's just like bring your own pumpkin"

"Hah, B.Y.O.P.?" What was I saying?! at least the bus would come soon.
...

It didn't come. 25 minutes later, it still hadn't come. Another bus-stopper from the next stop down walks up to mine. She, had almost given up hope as well. I start into a story about the latest I had ever seen the bus arrive, along with some factitudes about how the bus couldn't have possibly already come. This story involved some big gestures, with whole hand *(left hand)* points. "The bus isn't allowed to leave that stop *(pausing with hand --ring-- in view)* until *(look at watch, hand open, ring exposed)* 7:40." And "I caught the bus down there *(pausing with hand in front of her face, indicating marital status and northbound direction)*." I don't think she got the message.

The stranger from the other stop lightened things a bit.

After another 5 less-awkward minutes, giving up hope,my breaking point came, "that's it, I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls."

"LULZ! You didn't just quote Say Anything! That's like my favorite movie!" Yes, I did, and of course it is.

"..." I have nothing more to say to her.

I started off walking after the other bus stopper, towards work. Ms. Awkward walked off the other direction presumably toward home, the party pad. I hope they subscribe to a lot of newspapers, pumpkin carving is a dirty habit. The bus came one block of walking later, before we had reached the next stop. I flagged down the bus and got on my way. The queen of awkwardness was not on board.

The good part about a bus 25 minutes late is that almost everybody has given up by that point. With so few stops to pick up passengers, I wound up only 15 minutes late to work. UTA's got issues.

Maybe I ought to blog this.

-Karl Hite

"Our light speeches from time to
time have nothing to do with the
fixed commitment of our hearts"
-Joseph

"


I hope she's not one of my loyal readers.