Wednesday, January 5, 2011

forty modes

Well, I guess my 2010 resolution to blog was a failure. In that I did not, ever, blog last year. This year I aim to do much more. Much more traveling. Well, not so much more traveling, but more diverse traveling. Just go look at my other blog.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A Secret Hacker

The other day we were outside playing/gardening when Karen disappeared. We we figured she had gone into the stairwell, but she wasn't playing there. We thought she must have gone into our apartment, but she wasn't playing in the living room or kitchen. She wasn't in the hallway or the bathroom. We found her exactly as pictured below in the bedroom behind a partially closed door.

Cropped 3 ways for your viewing pleasure.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

MySpace Redemption

Those of you who know me are probably aware of my general feelings --*salutes* "General Feelings!"-- about MySpace. In a nutshell, it's the degradation of society. well, maybe not the degredation of society, but it along with women driving while their husband is in the car and conscious/legally able to drive, and other perversions of normal driving practices make up most of it.

I also had an awesome t-shirt that featured an exploding/burning computer with the catchphrase "Myspace & Gomorrah, the internet makes you stupid."
mens kablaam funny tee shirt by public domain, big bang theory t shirts
A shirt similar in appearance

Sadly, "Myspace & Gomorrah" apparently hasn't caught on, as it yields no results in Google. Myspace is the Sodom/Gomorrah of the internets. It is the eppicenter of middle-aged-men-pretending-to-be-teen-aged-girls-to-meet-teen-aged-boys-online-ocity.

Today, I made a discoverey that matches the importance of sliced bread. A research technique more valuable than's reverse telephone lookup (especially since nobody uses a landline anymore). Wikipedia + Myspace Music = free, awesome, obscure music.

There is (was, I discovered) a band called Barcelona. They were awesome. Awesome. I can never find them online with google because they aren't super-popular, and Barcelona isn't a very unique term. In fact, the metal band "!!!" is the only band worse off, as they're completely unsearchable in google. In fact, there are two other bands that share the name "Barcelona." 

Enter Wikipedia disambiguation page. There they are! Under "Barcelona (band) is an indie/new wave/pop band from Arlington, Virginia." Hey, that's a step in the right direction. On that page I learned that Barcelona split up a few years ago, but both band members are making music independently under the names "Sprites" and "The Positions" (Both unsearchable for various reasons). Wikipedia again comes to the rescue with links to the other wiki entries for these bands. Now onto the free music. For every band with an entry on wikipedia, a resource is listed with a direct link to the band's Myspace Music page. That means no poking around myspace, you've got a direct link! This is safety. Myspace Music has free songs that will play in the browser, and some that are downloadable as MP3s. And we're talking about stuff that's not available through other ..."free" channels. Then link out to the official band for even more free music!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Bus Stoppers


from: Karl Hite
to: Allison Hite

date: Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 9:35 AM
subject: Bus Stoppers

9:35 AM (10 minutes ago)

So I arrive on time at the bus stop. This girl is there to whom I've said "hi" a couple of times. She works at the MTC and rides the same bus 2 or 3 times a week. So she starts up some small talk and says "Any big plans for Halloween?" Innocent enough.

"Uhh not really, Office and 30 Rock on Halloween Eve."

"Halloween Eve!? HAHA you're so funny!" She had the wrong idea.

"Anyways, I'm having like this pumpkin carving party tomorrow, I live right down here on the corner. You can come if you want." -- Record scratch noise -- Oh man, does she have it wrong. In chit-chats past I know I've mentioned my wife. I'm wearing a ring, for golly's sake! But wait, It's cold, hands in the pocket. Must extricate hands, make ring visible. "It's just gonna be a bunch of random people."

"Uhh, cool... haha... " awkwardly. Testing lines in my mind: "My wife and I are gonna carve them on FHE" no, too direct. "My wife and I got a bunch of pumpkins at the pumpkin patch." Maybe. I ran a few more, but by the time I would have narrowed it down the moment had passed. I said nothing, awkwardly.

"So it's just like bring your own pumpkin"

"Hah, B.Y.O.P.?" What was I saying?! at least the bus would come soon.

It didn't come. 25 minutes later, it still hadn't come. Another bus-stopper from the next stop down walks up to mine. She, had almost given up hope as well. I start into a story about the latest I had ever seen the bus arrive, along with some factitudes about how the bus couldn't have possibly already come. This story involved some big gestures, with whole hand *(left hand)* points. "The bus isn't allowed to leave that stop *(pausing with hand --ring-- in view)* until *(look at watch, hand open, ring exposed)* 7:40." And "I caught the bus down there *(pausing with hand in front of her face, indicating marital status and northbound direction)*." I don't think she got the message.

The stranger from the other stop lightened things a bit.

After another 5 less-awkward minutes, giving up hope,my breaking point came, "that's it, I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls."

"LULZ! You didn't just quote Say Anything! That's like my favorite movie!" Yes, I did, and of course it is.

"..." I have nothing more to say to her.

I started off walking after the other bus stopper, towards work. Ms. Awkward walked off the other direction presumably toward home, the party pad. I hope they subscribe to a lot of newspapers, pumpkin carving is a dirty habit. The bus came one block of walking later, before we had reached the next stop. I flagged down the bus and got on my way. The queen of awkwardness was not on board.

The good part about a bus 25 minutes late is that almost everybody has given up by that point. With so few stops to pick up passengers, I wound up only 15 minutes late to work. UTA's got issues.

Maybe I ought to blog this.

-Karl Hite

"Our light speeches from time to
time have nothing to do with the
fixed commitment of our hearts"


I hope she's not one of my loyal readers.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tuesdays with Morrie: a crash course in accepted wisdom

This is the first in a possible series of republications of papers that I was forced to write for school about subjects I wasn't interested in that somehow turned out okay. The following is a review of the smash hit "Tuesdays with Morrie" by sports journalist turned cult leader, Mitch Albom.

“I know you think this is just about dying, but it’s like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” Morrie lends some formulaic insight on that one. This is characteristic of the novel. It is when a middle-aged Mitch Albom sees a friend from his past on television that he begins a journey of self-actuation, or at least self-encouragement.

Morrie was Albom’s good friend and professor from his days as a student at Brandeis University. In his declining years he contracted a degenerative disease that made his person notable enough to land an interview with Ted Koppel. Albom is at a rough spot in his famous and financially successful life when he spots the old friend. He awkwardly attempts to rekindle the friendship. Morrie hearkens back to the teacher-student, mentor-apprentice relationship.

On their first meeting Morrie opens up with some Socratic prompts such as: “Have you found someone to share your heart with?” and, “Are you trying to be as human as you can be?”
Deep. This meeting sets a precedent for the following dozen-or-so Tuesday get-togethers. We cannot tell if Albom is actually interested in growing, if he is trying to gather some good material for a novel, or if he is trying to impress his old friend. He wrote, “I squirmed trying to show I had been grappling deeply with such questions.” Their relationship was only partially believable. I believed that these meetings may actually have occurred, but the connection Albom tries to portray seems fundamentally flawed in the pretenses of their reunion. In a novel that is based on factual events I would certainly expect believability, somewhat lacking in this work. I understand the fact that you’ve got to write a book to sell it, but the all-but lack of treatment of any relationship outside of the wisdom imparter-imparted left me parched.

About three Tuesdays in Morrie asks what Albom wants to learn. He lists off nine subjects just profound enough to not have a simple answer on There may even be some controversy to these matters, but just barely. Death, fear, aging, greed, marriage, family, society, forgiveness, a meaningful life; you’re breaking new ground here, Aristotle. These subjects are all covered in the text and constitute generally each topic of the remaining study sessions. If Morrie has immutable wisdom to impart, so does Albom, because he asked all the right questions, covered all the bases, and left nothing left to be discovered.

As an inspirational book I would hope to find more that is inspirational and less that is glibly formulaic. Frankly I’ve read email forwards from people I’ve never heard of that draw more emotion out of me. I am reminded constantly of a character in another work in another media, pulling my attention away from the novel. In the Universal Pictures comedy, Mystery Men, a strange man named “The Sphinx” takes on the task of training a ragtag team of wannabe superheroes. He teaches not only skill, but also philosophy with such quips as, “To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn,” and “He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.” At one point these adages evoke the wrong emotion from “Mr. Furious” a man whose power is his anger:

Mr. Furious: “Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? ‘If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right.’ It's—"
The Sphinx: “Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage—"
Mr. Furious: “…your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right?"

If found in a work of comedy, Morrie’s glib advice on marriage, “love each other or die” would have been worth a laugh, but as-is it only makes me wince.

Finally I would express the actuation this novel should have, but did not proffer. If a man learns some truth but does not change his life to live in accordance with that truth, then that man has learned no truth. Not for lack of effort, I have learned no truth by my reading. Albom seems to be a good enough man, serving for charities and the like, but at the outset, not knowing much of the author I expected him to join the peace corps, I expected him to quit his job or work less. By the end of it and after reading the inside of the back cover, “about the author,” I feel no stirring within myself to change the world or try something new. I’ll love my wife the same ways; I’ll probably still be a selfish miser. The problem is that there were no views illustrated that were controversial. There was nothing to provoke thought or emotion outside of the “warm fuzzies.” The answers offered here to life’s questions are banalities, platitudes both tried and true, another in the over-produced line of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series.

I must, in closing, make note of Albom’s skill in narration. He took this rather plain story with little moral value and did at least tell it in an interesting way. The story switched back and forth from Albom’s days at the university to the time of his last course of study with his old friend. This regular rhythm made the book easy to read. Morrie seemed almost super-human, but Albom did make himself a pretty believable and human character. This novel is not groundbreaking in any respect, but does portray and cross-section the basic human experience. If an alien to Earth’s culture and ethics were to read this book it would help with orientation, but I must say that for any of us acquainted with/living in the world, this book is hardly worth the asking price or the time spent reading.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Everyone knows the most delicious part of the muffin is the top!

Friend Emily Dixon has a bodacious blog called my muffin thursdays. I just saw it today, but she's linking to Allison and me, so I thought I'd give a shout out and thanks for the link!

She's got some great recipes and some of the best kitchen photography I've ever seen!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Other Tasks as Needed

So I have a job. I go to it, I do stuff, then I go home. I don't necessarily like my job, but I like having one. No, my real PASSION in life is viewing television programing. I absolutely love watching it, listening to it, passively noticing it, thinking about it, quoting it, and giving it Eskimo kisses in secret.

I am particularly fond of situational comedies. The Office, Extras, Arrested Development, Grapes of Wrath, Chocolat, Water World, The Talented Mr. Ripley, The other Office, Lost, 30 Rock, Flash Forward. The list goes on.

For the past several hours I've been milling an idea over. The idea is that I travel through time to when I worked as an "Operations Assistant" at Direct Connect Satellite back in Rexburg last year, find money to pay a film crew, learn to be funny, and document the things I did that fell under the category "Other Tasks as Needed." That was about 90% of the job [The only part of my job that fell directly under my description was janitorial work]. The title of the previously untitled Karl Hite Project? Obviously "Other Tasks as Needed."

Office workers in their natural habitat.

I don't have time travel, a film crew, or a sense of humor, so in the end my sitcom is doomed to failure. I do, however, have an internet connection with over 10% of the network ports open, A computer with a 70% functioning keyboard, and a Google account that lets me author at least three blogs. Don't tell anybody, because it might somehow make it seem like I had committed to it, but I also have a digital camera that will take a video!

Enter- It is a blog. It is a dream. It is ... severely underdeveloped.

My new job is a little more focused, but there may still be some inspiration in it. I got a raise for knowing how to right-click on a Mac!